Dealing with disruptive players

[BlackLiger]

Well, I've had my share of dealing with little hoodlems who won't play fair.

The only method I've found for dealing with them in all honesty is to kick them out of the game, so has anyone else had any luck persuading their disruptive players to sit down and play the game properly, without pissing other people off?

[ozarknyc]

First, make sure you aren't the problem. Seriously. People sit down at the table and want different things, they might be bored or disappointed with what your offering. Or they might be sitting down for purely social reasons, and not really be interested in the game at all. There are lots of reasons that folks can be disruptive at the table, and lots of different ideas of what disruptive means. Make sure that everyone else actually thinks the trouble-makers are being disruptive.

First off, figure out what they want and give it to them in small doses. Let them meet a king or get a bitchin' sword or have sex with an NPC. Make them feel that their character is important. The worst screwing around I see is when the GM doesn't let the characters engage anything important to the player.

Try something a little different, too. Number crunching, min-maxing, dungeon bashing RPGs can be really, really boring for most folks. Go social scenario or vice versa.

Third, keep it serious. If the GM is cracking wise it encourages the other players to fuck around too. And they might not know when to stop. Or if your serious, lighten up.

Fourth, take the trouble maker aside and talk to them. Don't let anyone else know. Tell them you think their being a problem, and ask them if they are doing it intentionally. If so, why. If not, now they know and you would really, really appreciate it if they'd try to adopt the pace of the other players.

Fifth, break for dinner. Eat pizza for twenty minutes and BS, then get back to the game. It lets them blow off steam.

Not all in this order, necessarily.

Questions for you:

What does "play fair" mean? What does "play the game properly" mean?

[Karasu]

I believe the type of trouble greatly varies as much as the remedies to alleviate them.

If you were a bit more specific on the habits or the base general types of behavior and things you kick people from the game for, then maybe greater deals of insight would be given.

[Megan]

The only time I've actually asked a player to leave is when he physically attacked another player over an in-game action. The rest of the time I've found ways to involve them in ways that interest them and calm them down that way. Maybe being a teacher in real life helps!

We have had some problems with out-of-game baggage in the group, though. One fellow cheated on his wife & the rest refused to play with him for quite some time because of that. When he was back with his wife, he eventually was forgiven by all but one of the others, who ended up being told that we were having him back so he could either behave or leave. He left.

[tallforadwarf]

There are some player that you *cannot* talk to. You *cannot* please them. We had one guy who used to take levels in stuff he made up himself, giving huge attribute bonuses, and boasted to the other players (when I, the DM wasn't around) that he used to ask for more than he knew he would get, so he'd get his 'fair share' of the treasure/XP/custom rules/plots etc. He was never happy with anything, even when he forced the spotlight to focus on him. He dragged it down for everyone.

Yeah, for these types, there isn't much you can do other than kick them out of the game. However, most gamers are reasonable adults and a brief chat or two, over a drink, usually sorts out any troubles. In fact, we've taken to meeting new gamers in a non gaming situation first to get to know them better. It prevents a lot of the "Sorry but you don't fit in with this group" discussions.

Most gamers are okay by me, just 'cos they're gamers. But I'm pretty tolerant.

Peace,

tfad

[kentda]

disruptive players run the gamut. from players who refuse to cooperate, purposely try to be disruptive, to players who find something they like and refuse to get involved in anything else, they run the gamut.

I try to use this checklist. But, as anything, its not a hard and fast list.

Look at why they're being disruptive.

If the disruption can be resolved by giving them some extra "airtime" in a given area, problem solved (provided said area is not in and of itself disruptive to the game, like more combat in a game where combat occurs very infrequently).

If the disruption cannot be resolved by extra airtime, or if they demand so much that its unfair to the other players, then you need to try and talk things out with them and find out WHY they want more time with that area.

If the disruption is just a clash of personalities (Between two players, you and the player, the player and the genre) then you need to look at what the real source of the clash is.

If the disruption is just them being a flat out jerk, politely uninvite them to the table.

Personality clashes and them wanting more of a specific something i've found are the two biggest sources of disruptions. These can both usually be resolved with some effort on your part.

If you realize that they're a flat out jerk, that's not so easy to resolve. Then you have to look at WHY you invited them to the table in the first place! This of course can open a whole nother can of worms. ((the boyfriend / girlfriend syndrome is one of the uglier problems here)).

just a few thoughts that i've used over the years.

a key issue to avoid some of these disruptions is make it clear up front EXACTLY what you want out of the players. "this game will have minimal combat, lots of socializing, mystery galore, some horror, some tragedy, with a dash of sex thrown in."

Then if you have a player who joins and expects DBZ quantity combat, he obviously needs to be punted because you made it clear up front that combat would be almost nonexistent. Players who join and ignore the 'style' of the game you're shooting for are GOING to be a problem. Players who join and go AGAINST the "style" you're shooting for is obviously a problem. This then comes back to the GM, if he sees the character concept goes AGAINST the grain, then he should have said no. Which is why its so VITAL to make it clear from the get go what you expect from the players and what you plan to GIVE to the players. Both are vital of course.

[BlackLiger]

Eh, I do reserve kicking the player as my last resort, anyway, since usually the other players speak with them and calm them down.

In the case of the one i'm dealing with at the moment, he seemed to want to try and get his character killed every week and do stupid stuff like, in the middle of the biggest forest there was for miles, where a dryad (which was about 8 levels higher than him or anyone else) was guaranteed to be around, he started burning the trees. So I told him straight that if he wanted to do that, he should find another GM, since I wasn't prepared to deal with that.

[tiamot]

I think group wide communication is essential when it comes to all aspects of the game, especially with disruptive players.

I've found that by having a good discussion before game, especially regarding what kind of behavior you'll accept as a DM helps to stymie future bad behavior. Even though the majority of my players have been gaming for years and have ran under me many times, I always remind them of not only what I expect from them as players, but what they can expect from me as their DM. So I heartily advise any DM to make the players FULLY aware of your rules and any particular DM quirks you have BEFORE you start the game. People tend to be a bit more mindful of their behavior when they have this information, and if they do get out of line you've backed yourself up by having explained it to them before hand. Most people, when you point out, "Hey, YOU agreed to this..." will straighten up.

Most DMs will fully understand the need to be consistent when it comes to enforcing the rules laid out in the pre-game discussion. Firm but fair, is my motto. Stick to your guns, enforce things equally across the board, but don't be a tyrant. And for crap's sake, don't renege on your own rules! (I know, duh, right?!) The bottom line is that your players must trust you as a DM.

Being approachable as a DM is also very important and is a big part of the trust factor. If players are comfortable with the fact that you're willing to work with them, they'll be much more likely to come to you with an issue before it becomes so bad that you've got a real dilemma on your hands. I always remind my players that I am there if they need me, for whatever reason, and to come to me with any problems. I even encourage them to come to me and point out any 'oopsies' I might commit as a DM. After all, we're only human.

Of course, as a lot of other posters pointed out, there are those types of people who'll act up even if you've had a very informative pre-game discussion. My first course of action is to assess the situation to determine just how much of a problem I have on my hands. I've found that most of the time, the other players will be right on the ball and will also see the problem and will make mention of it at some point out of game. I have to decide if the issue is minor enough for me to correct in game, or if its something I need to handle out of game. If its a simple matter, many times I can just speak up in game and give a bit of a reminder. To avoid singling anyone out, I do this as a 'group reminder' and might say something like, "Remember to work together as a team!" if I've got a player that's constantly trying to go off in his own direction.

For larger issues, I like to gain the input of the other players to see how the disrupting person is affecting them. I may talk to these people individually or as a group, but the discussion is always held without the offender being there because I don't want to put them on the spot. Sometimes the issue is small enough that the rest of the group is willing to let it go. Other times I'll have to make it a point to talk to the offender privately and bring up the issue. These discussions are always handled delicately. Being reprimanded by anyone, let alone your DM, can be embarrassing! So I always keep such things in mind. I tend to start off by asking the person how they feel the game is going and if they're having fun. Sometimes you'll find that a person is acting out because they're actually having an issue with the game! Maybe they don't like their character and feel stuck with them, for example. Having this discussion with the offender can help to smooth things over. I always make it a point to let them know that main goal is for everyone to have fun. Above all I always maintain a high level of maturity.

Unfortunately some people don't listen to any amount of reason. As a DM you're the poor sucker who gets stuck with the task of having to fix the game issues with players. Sometimes, some tough love is in order. Like a lot of other people here, kicking someone out of the game is my last resort. I'd much rather have them leave of their own volition then have to kick them out. Truth is, I've had a player leave before. He was being a weenie, and I simply wouldn't take his crap. Of course I handled it all civilly and never singled him out, but he got so mad that he couldn't act as he pleased that he quit the game before things got so bad that I had to remove him. (Even his own wife was glad to see him leave the game!) Now, I'm not saying that as a DM you should just put up with people's BS. Depending on your situation, you might be able to be firm and sit on it a bit. The player might either work it out of their system or leave on their own. Of course, you might want to talk to your other players and tell them that you're going to cool your heels a bit and see what the jerk does...just be open to reason. Your players might already be so fed up that they're not willing to bear it with you.

At any rate, I most sincerely hope that any DM reading this thread who's having a player issue manages to work it out to the best effect!